Monthly Archives: February 2014

Love that smile pic

We don’t fit the mold

We celebrated Valentine’s Day on Saturday.  Husbands, no need to panic, you didn’t miss it!  Brad and I decided to capitalize on a rare free Saturday evening and celebrate a week before the price of roses doubles and a dinner out drains half our entertainment budget for the year!

The pragmatic approach might leave some romantics disappointed but for us it was very fitting.  We’ve come a long way from our first disastrous Valentine’s Day!  (Check out my blog from Feb. 14, 2011)

February 8th was the perfect day to celebrate a love that continues to grow, mature and break the mold!  We work hard at loving each other but we rarely follow the templates many in the “marriage business” suggest.  We hardly ever go out on dates, we don’t do Bible studies together and the last vacation just the two of us took was our honeymoon 21½ years ago.  It’s not that those aren’t great things to strive for but for reasons I won’t go into here, they haven’t worked for us.

What has worked for us is a fierce commitment to communicate even when it seems we will never understand one another, seeking to love the other in his/her love language not our own, sharing our spiritual journey and what we’re learning from the Bible even if we can’t “study” it together, praying together every day about everything, keeping our focus on God first—marriage second, and laughter—lots of laughter.  (and a little chocolate never hurts!)

How about you?  What are the things you do to keep relationships strong?

Can you apply any of those principles to your relationship with God?  The Lover of your soul longs to communicate with you, share His truth with you, laugh with you and share life with you!!  It takes work, but it is soooo worth it!

child watching TV illust.

Why does Taylor have two mommies?

WARNING: This entry is long but even so, I’ve only scratched the surface. This is such a hard subject to deal with as a parent.  We worked hard to help our kids live out Christ’s example to love everyone while at the same time never compromising truth–it’s not easy. 

“Why does Taylor have two mommies?” How do you answer this kind of question for a young child?

The Disney Channel brought the issue into millions of homes a couple weeks ago during their prime time show What’s up Charlie? Two mommies appeared at the door bringing their child over for a play date. More on that later…

A small but vocal homosexual community has successfully pushed their sexual preferences into the center of our culture and many are demanding that anyone who disagrees with their choices be treated with vitriol and intolerance. Your kids can’t escape their campaign. While at public school your child may have to share bathrooms with the opposite sex. If a classmate decides he/she is “transgender” they can choose which bathroom and/or locker room to use. In many public schools if a little girl complains that she is uncomfortable using a bathroom with a “transgender” boy she is punished and isolated for her “intolerant” feelings.

How do we help our children navigate this confusing and hostile attack on their hearts and minds? You won’t be surprised when I suggest you begin by bringing it back to the character of God!

My husband, Brad, did this when the president of a homosexual group in California challenged him during Q & A following his seminar “Making GOD the issue.” We can learn from his response:

Brad: “Before we can have any further discussion we have to agree on one thing: God loves you just as much as He loves me.”

The man was taken back. “Okaaay.” He responded hesitantly.

Brad: “No, I’m serious. If we can’t agree that God really does love you as much as He loves me there’s no point in going further.”

The man smiled. He realized Brad wasn’t trying to trick him. Brad honestly believed God’s love extended both of them. The man responded, “Yes, I agree with that.”

My friends, this is where we start with our children. God loves all sinners…therefore He loves all people.

God’s love is not the problem. The challenge we sinners have is with His holiness, justice, faithfulness, mercy, truthfulness and unchanging character. As Brad dialogued with the man the core disagreement became clear to everyone in the room. Brad summed it up:

“You begin with your behavior and want God to conform to your behavior. I begin with who God is and strive to conform my behavior to Him. Until we have the same starting point we will never agree on this issue.” The man sat down and said nothing more for the rest of the evening. For the first time in his life he understood the real issue was his view of God.  His view of homosexuality was only the symptom of his view of God.

Your child won’t understand all the Biblical reasons why marriage is to be between one man and one woman, but you can lay a foundation for them to build on. Begin with His love and the fact that He’s totally truthful…

1. God loves everyone. God loves ALL of us. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…” (John 3:16) God knew we were all sinners before He sent Jesus to save us. It’s because He loves us He sent Jesus to pay the price for our sin…ALL our sin.

Because He loves us, God wants the best for us. He told us in the Bible that the very best is for marriage to be between one man and one woman. When we don’t do that, we are missing His best whether we see it or not. When two women or two men want to be married and have sex they are not choosing God’s best—it’s like telling God, “You don’t know what’s best for me. I’m going to do what I want no matter what You say!” When we say “no” to God it is sin.

But always remember: God loves them as much as He loves you and me. We are always to stand up for God’s truth, but it’s not our job to judge others. It’s our job to treat them the way Jesus would treat them.

2. God is totally truthful. God says twelve times in the Bible that homosexual behavior is bad. Not once does He EVER say it’s good. God cannot lie or make a mistake. Just because we like to do something doesn’t make it good and right. Some people like to have sex with the same gender but that doesn’t make it right or best. (It’s hard to believe we even have to say this to children, but believe me, most of them are hearing it from somewhere!)

Ask your child: “How do you think it makes God feel when we ignore the truth and do what’s wrong?”

Two more thoughts for you:
1. God is Holy, Just and Unchanging. Because He’s perfect and just, God cannot pretend sin doesn’t happen and that it doesn’t matter. If He did, we could never trust His love, faithfulness, mercy or any of His attributes. In other words, He would no longer be perfect and therefore not God.

2. God is Merciful. God does not force His mercy on us. He’s provided a way for our sins to be paid for and His holiness and justice to be satisfied through Jesus Christ, but He won’t make us to accept the payment. Many in the homosexual community refuse to acknowledge their sin and therefore don’t ask for God’s mercy and grace—not because God doesn’t offer it, but because they won’t accept it. All of us face the same choice. If we acknowledge our sin, recognize that we fall short of God’s perfection, accept Christ’s payment for all our sin, let Him know we are sorry for our sin and ask His help to turn away from it—we are forgiven and He will help us…ALL of us.

So what do you do about the Disney Channel? The show, What’s up Charlie?, is a clear example of a how the Disney Channel is willing to push an unapologetic secular social agenda. What you do with this information is up to you, but if you do let your kids watch the Disney Channel know this: You can’t blindly trust the Disney Channel with your child’s heart and mind. The Disney Channel teaches them to base their decisions on how they feel; our goal as followers of Jesus is to teach them to base their decisions on God’s character and how He feels. It’s dangerous to let them watch the channel without parental supervision.

Sing baby.

Super Bowl Halftime: What did you hear?

Sunday night my daughter asked us to change the channel when Bruno Mars launched into his second song, “Locked out of Heaven” during the Superbowl halftime show. Brad and I weren’t paying close attention to the lyrics, but she was…

“Never had much faith in love or miracles

Never wanna put my heart on the line

But swimming in your water* is something spiritual

I’m born again every time you spend the night

‘Cause your sex takes me to paradise

Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise

And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah

‘Cause you make me feel like I’ve been locked out of heaven

For too long, for too long

Yeah, you make me feel like I’ve been locked out of heaven

For too long, for too long

You bring me to my knees, you make me testify

You can make a sinner change his ways

Open up your gates ’cause I can’t wait to see the light

And right there is where I wanna stay

‘Cause your sex takes me to paradise

Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise

And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah”

I was reminded of what I already know—pay attention to the words that are planted deep in our children’s thoughts and imaginations through the most powerful delivery system there is—music!

I’m thinking I’m not the only parent who forgot to listen during the halftime show…fortunately our teenage daughter didn’t forget.

During the month of February the Discover God 4Kids eCalendar focuses on God’s Love. Our culture has twisted God’s pure self-sacrificing love into a cheap, hell-bent self-love drowning in narcissism. How we love others is always an outflow of our view of God’s love. Songs such as Locked Out of Heaven will influence your child’s view of God’s love, and if you’re not listening carefully, you may not know it until it’s too late.