Have you ever been in the “Mommy Pit”? I fell into it this week big time and it wasn’t pretty! The “self image demons” kept me awake to the weeeee hours of the morning. I was second-guessing every parenting decision I’ve made. I wallowed in the reality of my selfishness and then naturally transitioned into a non-therapeutic session comparing myself to all the other “really great moms” out there…it was bad…really bad! There were moments when I thought my kids would probably be better off without me…
All of us have areas of our life that need pruning. It’s painful to face the reality of our shortcomings and sin, but there’s also a powerful anticipation that comes from knowing God will bring you through it stronger, wiser and more like Him.
The pruning shears came out this week, however, when God is doing the pruning He NEVER speaks lies—only the enemy of God does that. The lie I heard is that my kids would be better off without me. As my friend, Tracy, says: Really? God is Sovereign. For some crazy reason He chose me to be my kids mom…warts and all!
The enemy wants me to focus on my inadequacies, selfishness and failures. This week, he had me right where he wanted me. I was like the Apostle Peter sinking in the water. When his eyes were fixed on Jesus he defied the laws of nature and walked on a stormy sea. When the wind and waves distracted him, pulling his focus away from the Savior, he began to sink. I’ve felt like I was drowning.
I tried to do what Peter did. I cried out to Jesus, but I have to tell you, it didn’t help right away. I’m ashamed to say that in my heart I believed the lies that were suffocating me. I knew what God’s Word says, but my feelings said something else. So I began claiming what I know is true. I claimed it over and over and over! Slowly my feelings began to align with God’s truth and I’m starting to rise above the storm.
Just like Peter on the water, nothing has changed except my focus. Focus is everything. It’s the only way to rise up out of the mommy pit!
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. –Hebrews 12:2a (NLT)