My husband, Brad, was speaking at a church recently. Part of his message included the statement: When you understand who God really is you realize you don’t have problems, you just have opportunities to see God work. During the Q & A time a woman asked, “What if the problems you have are due to your own bad choices?” The pain in her voice revealed the personal significance of the question.

Brad’s response is a great encouragement to us all:

Most of the problems we encounter are of our own making! Some problems are due to outside forces, but 90% are a result of our own poor choices and sin. God is not restricted to the other 10%! EVERY problem is an opportunity to see Him work through His power, faithfulness, mercy, presence, holiness and love!

Our bad choices, selfish actions and sin stained behavior do have consequences, but God is bigger than the consequences. He is still in control, even when we make a bad decision. He is powerful enough to cause all things (even our sin) to work together for good. The Bible is quick to point out that this is not an excuse to sin. Only a warped mind would twist this miraculous truth and use it as an excuse to immerse ones self in sinful behavior. Unfortunately, our world is full of warped minds!

Run from sin, dear friends, but when you do stumble and the consequences of your actions threaten to overwhelm you, run to the only One who can turn your problems into opportunities for inexpressible joy, unimaginable peace and unconditional love.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you now belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death… And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. Romans 8:1-2, 28 NLT

I walked by the Valentine candy isle today. Fellow chocolate lovers, our best day of the year should be February 15th! All that chocolate for half price! Shelves of chocolate hearts; dark chocolate, milk chocolate, crunchy chocolate… Normally I would be giddy with the thought of stocking up on chocolate, but today the left over Valentines reminded me that there are many who are nursing unmet expectations and disappointing realities.

I’m reminded of the tears of friends who didn’t receive chocolate, flowers or a card. I thought of the scores of couples who spent hundreds (even thousands) of dollars on chocolate and trinkets in a vain attempt to revive a dying relationship. Valentine’s Day is a day many would like to eliminate from the calendar…I thought of my first Valentine’s Day as a new bride…

Brad and I were in our thirties when we married on a beautiful August day in Colorado. I never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day and over the years I managed to weave a beautiful dream about what the day would be like when I finally found my true love. As Valentine’s Day approached I eagerly anticipated my dream becoming a reality… (you know what’s coming don’t you?!)

Brad casually mentioned one night that he resented all the Valentine hype. “It’s a day Hallmark has blown up and marketed so they can sell a lot of cards and gifts. I don’t like being used like that. I wish we could just ignore the day all together.” One look at my devastated face and he knew he’d made a mistake, but like most new husbands he thought he could bring me around to his thinking if he explained it better…NOT!

Brad ended up saying he would get me flowers and a card for Valentine’s Day if I wanted him to. I told him I didn’t want him to get me anything for Valentine’s Day…EVER! So much for my Valentine’s Day dream!

Tuesday marked our 20th Valentine’s Day together. I woke up to find 3 red roses and a card waiting for me in the kitchen. A festive dinner with the kids took the place of a romantic dinner for two but that was fine with me. We laughed and shared memories we’ll all treasure. It was a great day, not my Valentine dream day…it was better. Why? It’s because we work hard at loving each other every other day of the year.

My dear friends, I hope you take advantage of the half price chocolate Valentines, but I pray you don’t settle for half-price love. Whether you’re married or single, God has placed people in your life for you to love and who will love you. The love may not look like the love of your dreams , but if you trust your Heavenly Father and fix your heart on His promises, He will fill it with a love that exceeds your dreams!   Ephesians 3:18-21

I wrote about the sultry Cosmopolitan magazine covers a while ago. Walmart continues to display them front and center at their check out counters. Young children and under age teens continue to be exposed to pre-pornographic pictures and pornographic headlines every time they go to the grocery store. At least Publix stores try to keep the magazines covered. The Walmart near my house does not (even after repeated requests to do so).

Cosmopolitan has launched a new strategy designed to attract younger women. Dakota Fanning kicked the campaign off in the January issue. Barely eighteen, Dakota posed beside the headline, “HIS BEST SEX EVER”. The February edition features ‘tween’ and teen idol Selena Gomez. The headline,“50 SEX TIPS”, is strategically placed beside her right shoulder and her ample cleavage.

It’s not just the cover that concerns me, it’s the content as well. Nicole Weider of Project Inspired summed it up well.  As she says about Cosmo:

This publication has steadily declined into a full-on pornographic “how to” guide for teens and vulnerable young girls. Every issue dares girls and encourages them to try new sex moves (including anally), engage in threesomes, experiment with lesbianism, have public sex, watch porn, (with specific URLS listed!) and using sex toys such as dildos, shower heads, and vibrating tongue rings to “please your man and stimulate your clitoris.”

What is a parent to do? In addition to teaching your kids about the character of God and how that affects every decision we make; keeping the communication lines open and helping them choose to fill their minds with that which is good, pure, noble and holy (Philippians 4:8); you can join thousands of concerned adults who want Cosmopolitan’s adult only message restricted to… adults only! Go to: http://www.change.org/petitions/cosmopolitan-is-aggressively-marketing-explicit-porn-tips-to-minors-put-cosmo-in-a-non-transparent-wrapper-and-sold-to-adults-only Sign the petition asking that Cosmopolitan magazine be required to put the magazine in a non-transparent wrapper and sold to adults only.

ALSO, as I said in my blog post, Walmart and Cosmopolitan (blog.dg4kids.com/kathy-brights-korner/walmart-and-cosmopolitan/), please let your local grocery managers know that you’re offended by the Cosmo covers and don’t want your children exposed to the suggestive pictures and sexually explicit headlines.  Let them know that if they care about our children, they’ll cover up Cosmo.

We are not alone in this fight for the hearts and minds of our children. Let’s join our voices together and make a difference. Cosmo has the right to publish sexually explicit covers, but they don’t have the right to force our children to be exposed to it. Since our families must eat, we have no choice but to go to the grocery store. Cosmo (and your grocery store) does have a choice…cover up!

Like and share this blog if you agree!

How do you find out how your kids are doing… I mean really doing? A startling number of our kids will go to college some day and completely reject the faith and values we’re trying to instill in them. For many parents it’s a complete surprise. It shouldn’t be.

Did you know that most parents spend more time getting ready in the morning than they do talking with their children? How can we discover what’s going on in our kids heads and hearts if we’re not talking with them? For many, conversations that go beyond, “How was your day?” and “Did you clean your room?” are few, if not non-existent.

(By the way, just because a child comes home from school and shares every detail of the day doesn’t mean you know how they’re doing. Knowing the details of the day doesn’t necessarily expose the feelings, thoughts and life altering experiences of the day.)

Asking a few simple questions (and being diligent to actively listen) will go a long way in helping you to know what’s really going on in your child’s heart and mind. Here are some questions to help facilitate conversations that count with your kids:

• What was the best part of the day? Why?
• Did anything happen today you wish you could erase or undo?
• How did that make you feel?
• When ________ happened, what did you do? Why? Would you do it differently if you could press a ‘redo’ button? Why/why not? What would you do differently?
• Since God is everywhere, He was with you all day. What happened today that you think made Him smile? Did anything happen that might have made Him sad or mad?

The key is to ask one or two questions, listen to the response and then follow up with a question that takes the subject to a deeper level. Few of the conversations will be serious and deep… after all, we are talking to kids! But if we consistently make the effort to engage them in conversation about their life, when the serious issues arise they will be much more likely to talk about them with us.

The Table Talk Questions on the dg4kids website calendar provide great suggestions for conversation starters around the table. The questions for this week are: Who’s easy for you to love? Why? Who’s hard for you to love? Why? Who does God love? Why?

When we asked these questions of our kids it sparked a very interesting discussion. I hope you find the questions helpful as you strive to know your kids and point them toward a life long journey with the Lord.

Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan

I read this on Children’s Letters to God and laughed out loud. Did you ever feel like Nan? Maybe you still do! My siblings are incredible and I love them with all my heart, but there were times…  Okay, I wasn’t exactly an angel myself. I’m sure they would love to tell you about the time I kicked a hole in the wall or the time I refused to let my sister cross the line in our bedroom to go to the bathroom!

Loving our family is not the only challenge. Denise wrote in her letter to God:

Dear GOD,
If we come back as something – please don’t let it be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. -Denise

Apart from the fact that Denise is confused regarding reincarnation, her sentiment about Jennifer Horton is clear. Denise’s parents are going to have their hands full helping her learn to love Jennifer! Teaching Denise about God’s love is the best place to start!

Our culture is waging war on God’s love. The strategy is the same as the one birthed in the Garden of Eden. Bend the truth just enough to convince them of the lie. For example: Jesus is one way to God but He’s not the only way. God wouldn’t be love if He rejected all the nice people who believe in other ways to Heaven. Really? How can a loving God send His Son to die a painful death for our sins when He knew He would allow everyone in anyway? Such a cruel God would be frightening.

The counterfeit love we see everywhere is one with no moral compass, no boundaries and no foundation. When we cheapened God’s love for us, our love for each others always follows. February is a great month to focus on love—God’s love. When we explore what His love really is, two amazing things happen: 1. We experience His powerful and unwavering love for us. 2. We experience His powerful love flowing through us toward others (even family and mean classmates!).

The Family Activity on the calendar this week is The Love Language Game. Gary Smalley wrote the book, The Five Love Languages. He gave us permission to create a game, around the love language theme, for families. The game will help you identify each other’s love language and give opportunities to talk about God’s love language. Click on, http://dg4kids.com/activity/activity-god-is-love/ to find the instructions and downloadable game cards.   The game will require a little bit of preparation but it’s worth it!!!

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. John 4:16 NLT

What do you do when your children enthusiastically announce what they want to be when they grow up and you’re pretty sure it will never become reality? My parents were incredibly supportive of my childhood dreams. They ingrained in me the belief that I could do almost anything I set my mind to. When I declared my desire to be a singer they could have pointed out that everyone cringed at my tone-deaf vocal renditions… but they didn’t. Instead they made sure I had voice lessons and the opportunity to sing. Who knew I’d go on to major in vocal performance?

The Table Talk question for tonight in the Because God is… calendar raises the issue of our dreams and how God made us. I encourage you to ask the question this week around the dinner table. (find it at dg4kids.com and click on the calendar.) It’s fun to talk about what they want to be as well as explore the special abilities and qualities God has woven into each child.

Sometimes, however, a child isn’t happy with how he/she was made. A family devotion using Amy’s story will be a great help. Here’s part of the devotion as you would use it with your kids:

Read Amy’s story…

Amy desperately wanted blue eyes. Every time she looked in the mirror and saw her brown eyes staring back at her, she asked God to make them blue. Everyone in her family had blue eyes, and Amy could not imagine how God had slipped up and given her brown ones.

Let’s stop the story here for a minute.
Do you think God made a mistake and gave Amy brown eyes when they should have been blue? Why/why not?
Let’s read on…

As Amy grew up, her eyes remained the same shade of brown, but her heart for those who didn’t know Jesus grew. She learned about the people of India, and God gave her a great desire to share His message of love with them. When she was still a young woman, she traveled thousands of miles from her family to live among the women of India.
The women of India cover their mouth and nose when they are in public. Amy wanted to honor the customs, so she also wore a scarf across her mouth and nose. One day, she looked in the mirror after she had put the scarf in place and what she saw took her breath away.

Can you guess what it was? What was the only part of her face that was showing? (NOTE: Put a scarf or piece of cloth over your nose and mouth so they can see what Amy saw.) (Her eyes!)

Amy’s brown eyes stared back at her. Brown eyes… just like the eyes of the Indian women she was trying to talk to about Jesus! She looked like one of them! If she had blue eyes, she would not have fit in, and the women would not have listened to what she had to say!
When Amy was in her mom’s tummy, God knew she would grow up to love the Indian women and He would send her to them. He also knew that brown eyes would be better than blue eyes in India. Amy was thankful for her brown eyes from that day on!

God’s masterpiece called Amy Carmichael was perfectly created for God’s perfect plan.

You can find the rest of the devotion at: http://dg4kids.com/bible-time/day-two-god-is-creator-king/

Let me know if you have any questions! Remember, you are His masterpiece as well!

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT

My daughter and some friends re-created this Waterhouse masterpiece for a Chalk Festival.

She couldn’t move. High above the forest floor, she clung to the swaying treetop, paralyzed with fear. The fragile trunk wouldn’t hold her and the rescue worker who tried in vain to reach her. She had to come down to him… but she couldn’t move.

She had climbed with practiced confidence, oblivious to anything but the next branch. The view from the top was breathtaking… until she looked down. Who knew she would be afraid of such a height? White knuckles gripped the slender trunk. The man below urged her to climb down. Her body refused to budge. She wasn’t going anywhere.

“Can you move your legs?” her would be rescuer asked.
“NO!” Panic swelled.
“Can you move your hands?”
“No!” It was hopeless.
“What can you move?”
She had to focus. Slowly she checked off every moving part. Nothing moved until…
“I can move my pinky!” She wiggled the small digit hoping he could see her victory.
“Good! Can you move the other pinky?”
“Yes!” A sliver of hope was born.
“Excellent! Now, slide each pinky down the tree as far as you can. Then the rest of your body will follow.”

One pinky length at a time, she made it to solid ground.

What do you do when you’re stuck? Fear, doubt, disappointment and weariness are only a few of the things that can paralyze us. One friend recently posted: Motivation, please, please come back! Been there, done that!

When author Gary Stanley told the story of the girl in the tree 25 years ago it gave me what I needed to get “unstuck”. I began asking what I can do rather than focusing on what I can’t and the entire conversation changed! My pinky step always starts with simply talking to God, “I believe, Lord, please help my unbelief…”

I believe You’re in control, but I’m worried You don’t have control over ________. Please help my unbelief.

I believe You love me, but if You love me I don’t see why You would allow _______. Please help my unbelief.

I believe You are always with me, but I feel totally alone. Please help my unbelief.

I believe you are all-powerful, but I don’t see any path to victory over my _______. Please help my unbelief.

Pinky steps are a big deal. They can break the cycle of lies and open our hearts to the power of the Almighty God! Whatever is paralyzing you or defeating you, pinky prayers will get you to solid ground.

The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 NLT

Do your children know what you like about them? I was challenged by that question when my kids were young. I was confident they knew I loved them, but I wasn’t sure they knew I liked them. So much of my interaction with them revolved around instructing, training and discipline that I rarely took time to stop and enjoy the little boy and girl God created them to be.

I began asking the Lord to help me see the unique qualities and gifts He wove into my children as well as the wisdom to nurture and cultivate them. I was humbled to discover I had created an image of my kids based on what I expected them to be, not who God created them to be. I’m sure you’ve met mom’s who live their lives through their kids; driving them to succeed, be popular, do well in school, excel in sports,… I was much more subtle than “those” moms, but my sense of worth was just as dangerously linked to my kids. It’s very hard to make good parenting choices when your own self-esteem is on the line.

I became a student of my kids and I loved what I saw! I discovered amazing creativity and wit. I found a tender heart and a passion for those less fortunate. I uncovered an imagination that inspires as well as entertains. Learning how my kids approach the world has helped me prepare them to live in it. Brad and I expect our children to work hard as unto the Lord (Col. 3:23) but what that “looks” like for each of them is different.

It does take time and effort, but helping your children discover their God given potential is worth every minute!

You may be wondering how the title “Give Me S’more” fits with this blog. I encourage you to go to  dg4kids.com and click on the “Because God is…” calendar. Click on the Family Activity (“Give Me S’more!”) for tomorrow night. It provides a fun opportunity for you to communicate what you like about your kids and how God has made them special and unique. Let me know how it goes!

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us so long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT

I hope you’ll be as encouraged by this story as we were when it happened… “You don’t know me but I would like to meet you tomorrow and accept Christ.” Peter tried to identify the male voice on the other end of the line but couldn’t. He thought it was a practical joke from a friend, however, just in case it wasn’t, he agreed to a meeting. The next day the young man told Peter his story:

Yesterday I was getting ready to commit suicide, but then I remembered this guy I met 2 years ago in Atlanta. He was with Campus Crusade for Christ and he tried to talk to me about having a relationship with Jesus. Honestly, I was totally rude to him. I had absolutely no interest in Christ. Since then my life has spiraled out of control and I don’t want to live anymore. Yesterday, as I was getting ready to kill myself, I thought of the guy in Atlanta. I decided that before I end it all I should accept Jesus. So, I called the university and asked to speak with someone from Campus Crusade. Since you’re an officer they gave me your number. So, here I am. I want you to read through that booklet and help me accept Jesus.

After reading through How to Know God Personally (a version of The Four Spiritual Laws) and talking at length about what it means to put your trust in Christ, the young man bowed his head and prayed, surrendering control of his life into the hands of the Savior…his Savior! Hope glistened in his eyes when he thanked Peter for meeting with him. Thoughts of suicide vanished. His new life in Christ gave new purpose.

We never know when the seeds we plant will take root and grow. The man in Atlanta probably thought the seed he planted in the young man’s heart fell on hard soil. He still doesn’t know that the seed penetrated the outer crust and saved the boys life, now and for eternity. Plant the seeds of God’s character and Jesus’ saving grace in your children’s heart everyday. Some will grow and bloom now, but many won’t blossom until they’re far from home; when life seems to fall apart and they descend into a place so dark it’s hard to see the light of hope.

Finally, pray that God will bring people into your children’s lives that will continually point them to their Savior and look for opportunities for you to be that person in someone else’s life!

What’s been your best resolution ever? Have you ever made a resolution that changed your life? I did.

Nine years ago I was working hard to be a good wife, a good mom, a good friend and a good Christian. I’m a textbook first born child; a bit of a driver, a rule follower and an excessive sense of responsibility… but no matter how hard I worked at doing the right things I could never consistently capture the joy and freedom God promises His children. It’s not that I was sad, but the weight of life was heavy on my shoulders. There were moments of relief, but God doesn’t promise mere moments—He promises a life journey of freedom and joy. What was I doing wrong? I found the answer hidden in the question.

Lasting joy and freedom are not found in what I “do”. Oh, they may provide a momentary sense of satisfaction and maybe even a rush of joy, but then it’s on to the next thing and the next and the next… Joy becomes dependent on the results of my “doing” and is often reliant on how others respond to my “doing”. I feel pressure just thinking about it.

I resolved to stop pursuing joy and freedom and proactively view everything in my life as one big opportunity for God to work. Every challenge was filtered through the character of God. If I was stressed, depressed, worried or bitter I would ask myself, “What attribute of God am I struggling to believe is true in this circumstance?” Inevitably I discovered my lack of faith in one or more of His attributes. Claiming His power, mercy, love, faithfulness etc. in each circumstance gave birth to joy and a sense of anticipation for what God would do with the challenges. I was free. Beautifully, wonderfully free.

I am a different woman today because of that one resolution.  It’s not that I have perfect faith (far from it!) but every day I’m quicker to take those doubts and fears to the only One who can turn them into confidence and joy.  It’s a resolution that will continue for a life time!  I wake up almost every day anticipating what God is going to do… not what I’m going to do. It’s soooo much more fun!

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in Me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing. John 10:5 NLT